11/4/2009 8:58 AM
Anonymous wrote:
There is no justification whatsoever for a single woman and a married man to have any communication that wife is not a part of or does not know about. If someone does this and tries to put God in it they are a lie and the truth aint in them. Reply to this
11/4/2009 11:59 AM
Anonymous wrote:
I believe that if it the marriage is abusive or if a spouse is cheating or being deceitful that will justify some intervention but the reason that this information is being discussed must be honest and pure as well. Reply to this
11/4/2009 5:50 PM
Anonymous wrote:
This is a good topic. We need to take some time out and see things how they really are and not how we want them to be. I know of several christian people that are married and have conversation with people of the opposite sex about what goes on in their marriage. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but I am saying that it happens. Often times it happens because when the man tries to express to the woman his concerns, it hurts her feelings, or she takes it the wrong way. With this being said, many times when we are not comfortable enough to talk to our spouse because we arer trying to protect their feelings or what have you, we end up to talking to someone who may be of the opposite sex. You must know your limits. If you know that you struggle with lust or things of that nature, then you should not put yourself in certain situations. But it is happening. I believe that 85% of marriages have a communication problem. They are afraid of what the other may say, which leads to emotional adultery and perhaps the "affair". We all have fallen. Just because a married person had had dialogue outside the marriage and/or an affair does not mean he/she is not saved. There is a difference between making mistakes and planning to do wrong. Reply to this
11/4/2009 7:04 PM
Sharon wrote:
It happens time and time again... Man has problems at home with wifey...single, attractive woman comes along who understands everything man is going through and don't know why wifey won't listen to man...man feels like someone understands him and sees his point of view.... Man stops communicating with wifey... mans starts talking to "understanding" single woman more and more....then its "I never meant for this to happen, it just did" It never just happens..
Solution: Don't even go there with a single woman, don't even talk to her about your wife unless your telling her your wife is the best thing that ever happened to you and keep it moving.... Reply to this
11/4/2009 10:40 PM
Anonymous wrote:
I understand exactly what you are saying. But we as women do need to step up and be the wives that we need to be. I am not making excuses for men by any means, but we need to stop being so sensitive and so needy. We were put here for man. Man was not put here for us. We have the tendency to get comfortable in relationships and let things fall by the waste side. And women do it too. I know of women that had good men and they had a man they talked to outside of the marriage, and it led to an affair. There is no perfect situation. Everything takes work. Communication is number one, regardless to what the other person may feel. I am not condoning this behavior, but when you have a spouse at home that you just can not talk to, that makes it all the more difficult to resist what is being put in front of you. Reply to this
11/5/2009 3:48 PM
Sharon wrote:
I get it.. Communication is number one.. Communicating with your spouse that is it and not all these other folks.. We can debate the role of a woman but the fact is that, that woman did not change over night... If that woman is needy in the marriage guaranteed she was needy in the dating process, that person dealt with it then they should deal with it now..
Key point for both men and women, as someone stated is not to rush into a relationship and marriage just because you want to be with someone because you will be setting yourself up for situations such as this... Reply to this
11/4/2009 11:26 PM
Anonymous wrote:
I forgot to comment on the christian mistress. I think that we as women sometimes don't know how to be alone. Instead of waiting on the "close to perfect guy" to find us, we just jump at the first thing we see. We would sometimes rather have anything than to have nothing. It is crazy but it is real talk. We make excuses for everything we do trying to justify it. It is easy for the mistress to say that she believes this man is for her, when the man has told her how bad things are at home... and here she is thinking she is the one to rescue and save him (but he is still married). I think that we have to deny ourselves and our flesh daily. Because the spirit and flesh are constantly at one another. We have to stay prayed up and focused on what God would have us to do to keep our minds focused. But at the end of the day it is very hard. it kind of goes back to one of the previous topics... "Is Good Enough Really Good Enough" As it was said in this podcast, we have to set ourselves up in the best situation to win... not saying that temptation won't come, but your chances of overcoming and resisting are better, when you have gotten close to what you were looking for. Reply to this
11/5/2009 10:02 AM
beverly blakemore wrote:
Many years ago this happened to me,and my actions ended up hurting someone I loved. There is (no) justification for invading in on someone's marriage. I convinced myself that I was just being a friend and no one was getting hurt. Boy, was I lying to myself. When my friend found out, she immediately thought we were having an affair, and the pain I saw in her face is something I'll never forget. Just because you aren't physical, doesn't mean you aren't guilty. I was honestly beginning to have feeling for this Man ,so... I had to come to my senses, because he certainly wasn't trying to. I thought I was good and saved..but little did I know, I was headed for destruction, pain and heartache. "Not just my pain but the pain of a innocent wife who didn't even know there was a problem. Although we weren't intimate, the Sin was still there. Our minds were not pure and both our souls soon became troubled. So please people, don't fool yourself...Stay out of other folks marriages, Marriage is a scracred Union ordained by God. " So... Let God work out problems in marriages. All we can do is Pray for them. I was one of the lucky ones...God fixed it where we maintained our friendship, and repaired the broken circle . Reply to this
There is no justification whatsoever for a single woman and a married man to have any communication that wife is not a part of or does not know about. If someone does this and tries to put God in it they are a lie and the truth aint in them.
Reply to this
I believe that if it the marriage is abusive or if a spouse is cheating or being deceitful that will justify some intervention but the reason that this information is being discussed must be honest and pure as well.
Reply to this
This is a good topic. We need to take some time out and see things how they really are and not how we want them to be. I know of several christian people that are married and have conversation with people of the opposite sex about what goes on in their marriage. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but I am saying that it happens. Often times it happens because when the man tries to express to the woman his concerns, it hurts her feelings, or she takes it the wrong way. With this being said, many times when we are not comfortable enough to talk to our spouse because we arer trying to protect their feelings or what have you, we end up to talking to someone who may be of the opposite sex. You must know your limits. If you know that you struggle with lust or things of that nature, then you should not put yourself in certain situations. But it is happening. I believe that 85% of marriages have a communication problem. They are afraid of what the other may say, which leads to emotional adultery and perhaps the "affair". We all have fallen. Just because a married person had had dialogue outside the marriage and/or an affair does not mean he/she is not saved. There is a difference between making mistakes and planning to do wrong.
Reply to this
It happens time and time again... Man has problems at home with wifey...single, attractive woman comes along who understands everything man is going through and don't know why wifey won't listen to man...man feels like someone understands him and sees his point of view.... Man stops communicating with wifey... mans starts talking to "understanding" single woman more and more....then its "I never meant for this to happen, it just did"
It never just happens..
Solution: Don't even go there with a single woman, don't even talk to her about your wife unless your telling her your wife is the best thing that ever happened to you and keep it moving....
Reply to this
I understand exactly what you are saying. But we as women do need to step up and be the wives that we need to be. I am not making excuses for men by any means, but we need to stop being so sensitive and so needy. We were put here for man. Man was not put here for us. We have the tendency to get comfortable in relationships and let things fall by the waste side. And women do it too. I know of women that had good men and they had a man they talked to outside of the marriage, and it led to an affair. There is no perfect situation. Everything takes work. Communication is number one, regardless to what the other person may feel. I am not condoning this behavior, but when you have a spouse at home that you just can not talk to, that makes it all the more difficult to resist what is being put in front of you.
Reply to this
I get it.. Communication is number one.. Communicating with your spouse that is it and not all these other folks.. We can debate the role of a woman but the fact is that, that woman did not change over night... If that woman is needy in the marriage guaranteed she was needy in the dating process, that person dealt with it then they should deal with it now..
Key point for both men and women, as someone stated is not to rush into a relationship and marriage just because you want to be with someone because you will be setting yourself up for situations such as this...
Reply to this
I forgot to comment on the christian mistress. I think that we as women sometimes don't know how to be alone. Instead of waiting on the "close to perfect guy" to find us, we just jump at the first thing we see. We would sometimes rather have anything than to have nothing. It is crazy but it is real talk. We make excuses for everything we do trying to justify it. It is easy for the mistress to say that she believes this man is for her, when the man has told her how bad things are at home... and here she is thinking she is the one to rescue and save him (but he is still married). I think that we have to deny ourselves and our flesh daily. Because the spirit and flesh are constantly at one another. We have to stay prayed up and focused on what God would have us to do to keep our minds focused. But at the end of the day it is very hard. it kind of goes back to one of the previous topics... "Is Good Enough Really Good Enough" As it was said in this podcast, we have to set ourselves up in the best situation to win... not saying that temptation won't come, but your chances of overcoming and resisting are better, when you have gotten close to what you were looking for.
Reply to this
Many years ago this happened to me,and my actions ended up hurting someone I loved. There is (no) justification for invading in on someone's marriage. I convinced myself that I was just being a friend and no one was getting hurt. Boy, was I lying to myself. When my friend found out, she immediately thought we were having an affair, and the pain I saw in her face is something I'll never forget. Just because you aren't physical, doesn't mean you aren't guilty. I was honestly beginning to have feeling for this Man ,so... I had to come to my senses, because he certainly wasn't trying to. I thought I was good and saved..but little did I know, I was headed for destruction, pain and heartache. "Not just my pain but the pain of a innocent wife who didn't even know there was a problem. Although we weren't intimate, the Sin was still there. Our minds were not pure and both our souls soon became troubled. So please people, don't fool yourself...Stay out of other folks marriages, Marriage is a scracred Union ordained by God. " So... Let God work out problems in marriages. All we can do is Pray for them. I was one of the lucky ones...God fixed it where we maintained our friendship, and repaired the broken circle .
Reply to this