10/7/2009 7:50 AM
Anonymous wrote:
That's a hard one. I know the right thing to say is you have to wait for what God sends you but I was feeling you on the big behind thing. I mean I'm saved and trying my best to live right but I have to be honest my wife's shape helps in keeping me faithful. She has other great attributes but still along with her shape I have everything I need at home. It might be a harder fight at times if she didn't have what she has... LOL. Just being real Reply to this
10/7/2009 9:01 AMAntoinette wrote:
Well, you can't force yourself to become attracted to someone you're not but if it's just one body part, I don't see how that's a big deal. Yet if you are not attracted to them at all (none of their body parts), I can see that as a huge problem. I've heard others say that type of attraction will eventually come if you trully fall in love with someone but I just find that hard to believe. Maybe that is the case especially if they have all of the other characteristics that you need.
Also, I think after meeting so many men that have the physical characteristics that you seek but none of the mental ones, you get fed up real quick and may eventually want to look past the physical to get what you want mentally. I haven't reached that point yet because I also believe that God will give me what I want-the total package! I could care less if he's skinny or his behind's not so big-as long as I'm physically attracted to him, one or two body parts aren't going to matter as long as he fits those things that are most important: smart, nice, gentlemanly, saved, industrious, striving for something, family-oriented, etc. Reply to this
10/7/2009 10:16 AM
psanders wrote:
yes good enough is enough..when you marry..you should have prayed about it spoke to the lord about it and had a talk with yourself about it. now you you are ready to make the step to wed..all other things should be out of your system. now don't get me wrong we are human and do make mistakes, but that mistake should not be in the 1st 2 weeks or even the 1st year of your marriage if so, you were not ready not your season..anyway for your marriage to last you all have to pray and pray together so you know you are on one accord and you both are praying for the same thing..a butt nor a breast should determine who you spend the rest of you life with..if it does you should stay single...i suggest you do not bring this crazy way of thinking into a marriage. Reply to this
10/7/2009 10:59 AM
sb wrote:
Im a bit confused.. So what you are saying is that one shud settle for someone they are not attracted to and stay committed for only the 1st year of their marriage... then after that they can pursue what they really wanted in their mate physically.... because we are human???? Reply to this
10/8/2009 8:36 AM
psanders wrote:
now you confused me. because you missed the hold part about praying to the lord, before you get married... the mistakes had nothing to do with physical attraction...please reread it...and if you keep god first you should not have a problem that he can not solve.. Reply to this
10/8/2009 9:12 PM
sb wrote:
I think the first person who responded to the question put it wisely.....Lets keep it real.. we are physical creatures thats wat attracts us initially to a person,God made us that way, why kid ourselves.... Reply to this
10/7/2009 10:16 AM
Sharon wrote:
One thing I will not compromise on are teeth... If I meet this wonderful man with jacked up teeth and he is CONTENT with having jacked up teeth then we have a issue... I mean can you imagine our wedding photos :/ Reply to this
10/7/2009 10:27 AM
Betsy wrote:
This is a really great topic. I think the heart of the topic is not just about a mate, but more so about our mindset. If we are measuring opportunities and people based on our flesh-response to that opportunity or person, where do we leave room for God's choice for us? I know one of our arguments will be "God said He would give you the desires of your heart" and that is true. However, I believe that OUR desires are what lead us into temptation anyway! A person can possess an opportunity or relationship that they "desired" and neither satisfied them enough not to "desire" more (even so to the point of yielding to temptation). I believe that when we allow our hearts to relinquish (to give up/hand over)OUR desires and accept GOD's desires for our lives, then "Good Enough" will be "All Good!" and no one could tell you or make you feel differently. This contentment with God's expected end for us is a beautiful place to be. Reply to this
10/7/2009 12:32 PM
Anonymous wrote:
The term "Good Enough" makes it sound like you are settling of the top. Come on now. It's not like we are buying a pair of shoes. We are talking about a potential lifetime companion. If you are saying they are not exactly it before the marriage even starts you are setting yourself up for disaster. Reply to this
10/7/2009 2:28 PM
Kevin wrote:
I believe first and foremost if we are going to quote the scripture..."God will give you the desires of your heart," then we must quote the ENTIRE scripture. The first part of that scripture says, "IF (emphasis mine) you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.
What I believe that is saying is as we delight ourselves in the Lord, God awakens the desires that He has already placed on the inside of us for a mate. Seeing that God according to Psalm 139 already knows our entire life completely, He knows what mate will be good for us and to us. I feel our desires in this scripture that God is referring too are the desires that come from a person delighting themselves in Him, not fleshly desires.
I am not saying that you should not be attracted to a person before you marry them, but it should not be your basis. I am married and my wife does not have a "coca cola" bottle shape. She is a plus size woman. Would I like for her to be smaller, yes. Am I attracted to her the way she is, yes. Would I be more attracted to her if she was smaller, yes. Am I tempted by other women that are smaller, no. Why? Because I would not trade in my wife's heart for me, how she has been there for me, her commitment to me, her love for me etc...over her being smaller. If my wife never loses weight, I will love her with all my heart. I don't feel I settled. I feel I am mature enough in God to not let physical part or whatever stop me from being blessed. My wife is a beautiful blessing to me and I would not trade her in for the world!! Reply to this
10/9/2009 8:26 AM
James Thomas wrote:
Physical attraction had to be a factor for you to connect. If not a person can't find out the other things about a person. Sometimes we overspiritualize things and confuse people. It is ok to seek out what you desire in a person. Whether the desire came from God or not it is a desire. If you want to be with one person forever you should try to satisfy the natural, the mental, spiritual and physical desires that are in you. And once you get married realize that whatever this person is you thought about it and made a choice. If not, we will be going through person after person and thinking each time this is the person that I will be with forever until we realize that we didn't choose what we truly desired. I think this is the reason Christians have such a high divorce rate higher than sinners because they are real about what they want and Christians want to say and do what people think they should do. Reply to this
That's a hard one. I know the right thing to say is you have to wait for what God sends you but I was feeling you on the big behind thing. I mean I'm saved and trying my best to live right but I have to be honest my wife's shape helps in keeping me faithful. She has other great attributes but still along with her shape I have everything I need at home. It might be a harder fight at times if she didn't have what she has... LOL. Just being real
Reply to this
Well, you can't force yourself to become attracted to someone you're not but if it's just one body part, I don't see how that's a big deal. Yet if you are not attracted to them at all (none of their body parts), I can see that as a huge problem. I've heard others say that type of attraction will eventually come if you trully fall in love with someone but I just find that hard to believe. Maybe that is the case especially if they have all of the other characteristics that you need.
Also, I think after meeting so many men that have the physical characteristics that you seek but none of the mental ones, you get fed up real quick and may eventually want to look past the physical to get what you want mentally. I haven't reached that point yet because I also believe that God will give me what I want-the total package! I could care less if he's skinny or his behind's not so big-as long as I'm physically attracted to him, one or two body parts aren't going to matter as long as he fits those things that are most important: smart, nice, gentlemanly, saved, industrious, striving for something, family-oriented, etc.
Reply to this
yes good enough is enough..when you marry..you should have prayed about it spoke to the lord about it and had a talk with yourself about it. now you you are ready to make the step to wed..all other things should be out of your system. now don't get me wrong we are human and do make mistakes, but that mistake should not be in the 1st 2 weeks or even the 1st year of your marriage if so, you were not ready not your season..anyway for your marriage to last you all have to pray and pray together so you know you are on one accord and you both are praying for the same thing..a butt nor a breast should determine who you spend the rest of you life with..if it does you should stay single...i suggest you do not bring this crazy way of thinking into a marriage.
Reply to this
Im a bit confused.. So what you are saying is that one shud settle for someone they are not attracted to and stay committed for only the 1st year of their marriage... then after that they can pursue what they really wanted in their mate physically.... because we are human????
Reply to this
now you confused me. because you missed the hold part about praying to the lord, before you get married... the mistakes had nothing to do with physical attraction...please reread it...and if you keep god first you should not have a problem that he can not solve..
Reply to this
I think the first person who responded to the question put it wisely.....Lets keep it real.. we are physical creatures thats wat attracts us initially to a person,God made us that way, why kid ourselves....
Reply to this
One thing I will not compromise on are teeth... If I meet this wonderful man with jacked up teeth and he is CONTENT with having jacked up teeth then we have a issue... I mean can you imagine our wedding photos :/
Reply to this
@ Sharon - I hope the brother has a good dential plan. (LMBO)
Reply to this
Sharon - indeed - Teeth are important and need to be maintained in good faith!
I wore braces back in the day and I take care of my teeth! In fact, I need to set up an appointment with my DDS!
Happy New New - 2010!
Steven
Reply to this
lol, hopefully he will love you enough to fix his jacked up teeth and yall will love happily ever after!
Reply to this
lol, yes yes
Reply to this
This is a really great topic. I think the heart of the topic is not just about a mate, but more so about our mindset. If we are measuring opportunities and people based on our flesh-response to that opportunity or person, where do we leave room for God's choice for us?
I know one of our arguments will be "God said He would give you the desires of your heart" and that is true. However, I believe that OUR desires are what lead us into temptation anyway! A person can possess an opportunity or relationship that they "desired" and neither satisfied them enough not to "desire" more (even so to the point of yielding to temptation).
I believe that when we allow our hearts to relinquish (to give up/hand over)OUR desires and accept GOD's desires for our lives, then "Good Enough" will be "All Good!" and no one could tell you or make you feel differently. This contentment with God's expected end for us is a beautiful place to be.
Reply to this
The term "Good Enough" makes it sound like you are settling of the top. Come on now. It's not like we are buying a pair of shoes. We are talking about a potential lifetime companion. If you are saying they are not exactly it before the marriage even starts you are setting yourself up for disaster.
Reply to this
I believe first and foremost if we are going to quote the scripture..."God will give you the desires of your heart," then we must quote the ENTIRE scripture. The first part of that scripture says, "IF (emphasis mine) you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.
What I believe that is saying is as we delight ourselves in the Lord, God awakens the desires that He has already placed on the inside of us for a mate. Seeing that God according to Psalm 139 already knows our entire life completely, He knows what mate will be good for us and to us. I feel our desires in this scripture that God is referring too are the desires that come from a person delighting themselves in Him, not fleshly desires.
I am not saying that you should not be attracted to a person before you marry them, but it should not be your basis. I am married and my wife does not have a "coca cola" bottle shape. She is a plus size woman. Would I like for her to be smaller, yes. Am I attracted to her the way she is, yes. Would I be more attracted to her if she was smaller, yes. Am I tempted by other women that are smaller, no. Why? Because I would not trade in my wife's heart for me, how she has been there for me, her commitment to me, her love for me etc...over her being smaller. If my wife never loses weight, I will love her with all my heart. I don't feel I settled. I feel I am mature enough in God to not let physical part or whatever stop me from being blessed. My wife is a beautiful blessing to me and I would not trade her in for the world!!
Reply to this
Physical attraction had to be a factor for you to connect. If not a person can't find out the other things about a person. Sometimes we overspiritualize things and confuse people. It is ok to seek out what you desire in a person. Whether the desire came from God or not it is a desire. If you want to be with one person forever you should try to satisfy the natural, the mental, spiritual and physical desires that are in you. And once you get married realize that whatever this person is you thought about it and made a choice. If not, we will be going through person after person and thinking each time this is the person that I will be with forever until we realize that we didn't choose what we truly desired. I think this is the reason Christians have such a high divorce rate higher than sinners because they are real about what they want and Christians want to say and do what people think they should do.
Reply to this